Broken Toe Blues

The night before last I got woke up again by my neighbor, Marvin Gabrion, at two-thirty in the morning. He is an obnoxious old man of low intelligence who nobody likes. Do in order to punish everyone for not liking him he likes to moan and wail all night and most of the day. And if that's not enough to bother everyone he'll clap his hands loudly once in a while just to wake up as many people as he can to hear his "singing", which, of course, is exactly the kind of thinking and behavior that makes him so unpopular to start with.

Anyway, the night before last was the umpteenth time he kept me awake at night, so I got up and stupidly kicked my door, hard enough to break my big toe again (the last time I broke it was in junior high gym class while playing soccer). So now I not only have to put up with his ignorant shenanigans, but I must suffer in silence for my own.

There is no point reporting my broken toe on sick call since the best they can do is confirm it's broken with an x-ray then put a splint on it. And, since I don't have to walk around at all (being confined to my cell 24/7) there's really no need for an elaborate splint. I've just been keeping my shoes on, even while I sleep, which seems to provide plenty of support. Luckily I have aspirin to help get through the first 48 hours or so, which was the most painful. But now the pain has subsided and I just have to be careful not to put any weight on it.

As for Gabrion, the stupid old man who instigated my folly, even as I jot these words he is wailing away in the cell across the hall from me, oblivious to the guards banging on his door to give him his "meds" (anti-depressants for sure, but he needs anti-psychotics). I don't feel bad mentioning his name openly in this blog because I'm not saying anything that can get him in trouble. "Singing", as he calls it, isn't against the rules, which he knows well and frequently insist on his "right' to do it when guards or other prisoners complain. He himself is notoriously the biggest "rat" on the tier, frequently telling on other prisoners out loud and in front of everyone. Then he turns right around and accuses solid convicts of being "rats, fags, child molesters, and cowards", to name a few of his favorite insults.

Marvin Gabrion is one man who really challenges my belief that everyone has merit and deserves to live. The only merit I can find in him is that he really challenges and hence strengthens my ability to be patient, which my broken toe painfully attests.

Dental Work

I just got back from the small dental office in the SCU downstairs after having my teeth cleaned for the first time in over nine years (since before my arrest in 2005).

The hygienist who cleaned my teeth and examined them was very nice, and had kind friendly eyes. She was also very experienced and professional about her work. I was able to ask all the questions I had about taking care at my teeth in prison (e.g. how and when to request an appointment if I have a problem with my teeth - no easy task considering how intricate policies and strained resources determine if and when a given request is responded to - many of my requests have been ignored in the past due to a simple lack of correct wording it seems).

The exam and cleaning went well. She found only one problem area where an old filling appeared to be giving out and needs replacement. Other than that my teeth are in good shape. The filling I got two years ago, to fix what the jail dentist in Riverside, California said needed a root canal (so he wouldn't have to fix it with a filling) is holding up well (surprize, surprize). So now, with this cleaning, my teeth are in good shape, all 28 of them (sans the wisdom teeth), with a lot of fillings in the molars but no caps, root canals, or anything else wrong with them. Not bad, methinks, for a fifty year old man who's spent more than half his life imprisoned.

(Originally written by Joseph E. Duncan III on June 7, 2013)

P.S. A week after the above dental visit I got called out for another dental appointment to actually have my one ailing tooth repaired. The dentist fixed it quickly with a few taps of his drill and a dot of amalgam, without even numbing me up first (per my request - the shot to kill the pain would have been more painful, by far, then the entire procedure!). So, now my teeth are in tip top shape, oh happy me! (It's seems my teeth have caused me more worry and concern these last several years - because I could not get routine dental care - than all the death penalty cases against me, and I'm not even exaggerating!)

Remiss Misgivings

Yes, I have been remiss in updating this sub-blog (Chronicles). My intention was to post the day-to-day stuff here so anyone interested could get a feel for what it's like for me to be on death row in Federal prison. But most of what happens around here ends up being stuff I can't write publically about without risking getting someone in trouble, guards and prisoners. So many rules are broken everyday that I couldn't even report what it's like to get chow without exposing violations that any other prison (or jail) I have been in would consider "serious". I dare not even say what the violations are for fear of getting someone in trouble.

So, you'll just have to imagine what it's like for now. I'll post what I can, but it won't be much. But generally I am comfortable - nobody harasses me, not even the other prisoners. People for the most part speak to me respectfully; though I keep to myself and seldom speak to anyone. I rarely leave my cell, by choice. In fact I've only been out of my cell once since my dental appointment two months ago, and that was for a mandatory six-month administrative review (they took me to the counselor's office, ask me if I had any concerns or questions, I said no; then they took me back to my cell).

Life is better for me than even I think it should be, but I still look forward to my "release day" (a.k.a. "execution").