FRP Refuse

   About six months ago the Unit Case Manager came to the door of my prison cell and asked me to sign the six month review that he printed off from his computer. The form is supposed to contain information relevant to my “rehabilitation”, which is kind of silly considering I’m on death row. It’s also full of a lot of wrong and completely untrue information, such as extremely exaggerated drug abuse (I’ve used marijuana in the past, but never let it interfere with work or school; the prison report paints me as a meth-addict, even though I’ve never used meth in my life; I’ve played with coke a few times, but I’ve only done so when I could afford to do so (an occasional weekend, but no more) and I’ve never been in trouble for using drugs of any kind). It also fails to acknowledge any of my academic accomplishments. The report claims I am in fact a high school dropout. It also says I was homeless and unemployed at the time of my arrest, which is technically true, so I guess I really can’t argue, except that prior to my “arrest” in Fargo, North Dakota (where I was technically “arrested” for molesting two boys on a playground, though I actually walked into the jail myself, and walked out a couple of hours later on bail that I posted with a check drawn on my own bank account (i.e. nobody “bailed me out” as some people claim, though I did borrow the money from a friend so I could bail myself out), and I was never cuffed or placed in a cell, only photographed and fingerprinted) I was working two jobs and attending NDSU (North Dakota State University) in my final semester to complete an B.S. degree in Computer Science. I paid all my bills every month, was never late paying rent, and generally had no problems managing my money. I worked full time as a computer programmer for an industrial automation consulting company, based in Moorhead, Minnesota, and part-time as a computer programmer/research assistant in the Computer Science department at NDSU (under Professor Bruce Slater). My employment record, up until that initial arrest, for both jobs was impeccable; I always showed up for work on time, and performed my job above expected standards (I was a well above average programmer to say the least). I’d hardly count that as “homeless and unemployed”, though I was both of these things a few weeks later after I jumped bail and set out to “punish society” for destroying me.

   Those are just some of the errors that this “official report” contains about me. I’ve tried to point them out in the past, but was basically told, “Unless you can provide proof that the report is in error it stands as is.” Since I really didn’t (and don’t) care what lies the System tells about me (since it regularly tells so many lies about everything else), I never bothered offering “proof” (though I did send a copy of the report to my attorney with all of the misinformation highlighted and explained, just in case anyone tries to use the lies in court someday, which is par for that particular course). So now when a six-month review comes up and I’m asked to sign this same report every time, uncorrected, I simply look it over to note that it is still in error, then make some note, such as “signed, though report is in error”, and then sign it to make “them” happy. If I refuse to sign it then they make a big note of the fact in my central file as a way to flag me as a “trouble maker”.

   Also, six months ago, the Case Manager at my door said, “Oh, by the way, we’re increasing your FRP (Financial Responsibility Program) payments from $25 per quarter to $25 per month.” (Not an exact quote.) And, he wanted me to sign a new “FRP Agreement” form. I protested that the only reason I had more money than usual over the previous six months was because I had asked a friend to send me money to buy an MP3-player (which cost about $75) and some music (which cost about $300). I tried to point out that the money they were taking from my account for FRP was all money given to me as a gift by people who wanted me to be able to purchase a little commissary, it was not MY money for them to take; i.e. they were indirectly but effectively taking money from my friends, not from me, since my friends will gladly send more money to pay the FRP so I can still get commissary (and pay for phone calls and stamps and such). Of course my arguments held no sway, I was after all just a “manipulating inmate” trying to “scam” the system. So, I ended up signing the agreement, because if I didn’t agree (by signing) then I would be placed on commissary restriction more severe than a disciplinary restriction! I’d only be allowed to spend $25 a month, which is barely enough to pay for coffee and toothpaste; they call it “FRP refuse”.

   But, I didn’t just decide to let my friends pay the FRP tax (the money is supposed for court fines and victim compensation, but I doubt if it goes any further than some general fund that gets used to pay salaries and other prison expenses; when I asked where the money went I was told that “they” had no idea where it went!). As soon as I could I looked up the FRP policies on the prisoner “law library” computer. I learned that if I missed a payment (by having less than the amount due in my inmate account at the time the withdraw is attempted by the system) that I’d be automatically made “FRP refuse”. And since I didn’t think it was fair for my friends to end up paying my “court fines” (per se) I decided to deliberately let my balance drop below 25$ (by asking my friends to not send money) and then live off $25 per month (which really isn’t a big step down in my standard of living these days --- if you don’t count my newly acquired MP3-player and music).

   The plan was to live off $25 for six months, and thus bring the deposits to my account to well under the $75 per month FRP exempt level (according to the policy, we are allowed $75 a month for “phone calls and postage” that is not to be considered for FRP payments). But, for some reason the monthly $25 withdraw did not happen. Instead, after the usual three months, the system attempted to withdraw $25 that I did not have. But, it did not make me “FRP refuse” until the next month, when I still did not have $25 in my account. But, now, finally I am “FRP refuse” and I’ve been managing contently for the last couple of months thusly.

   Today the Case Manager returned to my cell door with the usual six-month fictitious report. I made it a point to ask if the fact that I have less than the $75 per month sent in over the last six month will cayse my FRP status to be re-evaluated. I was told, no. I must request to make an FRP payment ($25), then at the next “cycle” when this payment is received my status would automatically change to “FRP participating”. When I protested that this procedure was not indicated in the official B.O.P. policies, I was told that was too bad, and that I should expect “consequences” for refusing to fulfill my agreement. I tried to point out that I was doing everything I could to “play” by the rules”; but, if I didn’t know what the rules are (a problem I have a lot, since “official policy” frequently conflicts with “official procedures” around here, and getting someone to explain “official procedures” is worse than pulling teeth) then how can I be expected to follow them?

   The Case Manager kept accusing me of trying to “work the system”, which I found rather insulting; especially since I felt I was doing everything I could to obligate the “system” and keep getting “worked” myself as a result. I tried to explain this to him a couple of times but quickly realized that he could hear no reason, only “inmate manipulation”. So, I quickly gave up, asked him to confirm the “new rules” he had just given me (alas, a tooth finally pulled after much effort to get the same one out in the past!) and then apologized for my own “misunderstanding” (in hopes of mending his fixed impression that I was only out to get something for myself).

   I wish I could let him (the Case Manager) see how he appears to me, but I can’t. The best I can do, the best anyone can do, is try to honestly see how I appear to him, and then do my best to adjust that image; towards something a bit closer to reality.

Release Day Update

   Well, it has been about six years since I was sentenced to death, three times, in Federal court. And, though I did not appeal --- and even informed the courts that I had no desire to appeal --- the lawyers (for the government and the “defense”) are still “litigating” (i.e. arguing) over whether or not an appeal should be “allowed” anyway (regardless of my wishes). The “defense” attorney’s claim that I was not legally competent to waive my appeal, so the “notice of appeal” that they filed (in 2008) on my behalf and against my consent (even though I was officially a “pro se” defendant, or “representing myself” at the time) should be accepted and the formal appeal should be allowed to proceed.

   Six years! And “they” still haven’t decided if there will even be an appeal! It’s no wonder no one on Federal death row has been executed since… (Actually, I don’t know the last time the Federal government officially killed an American citizen, but it’s been many years methinks.) At least two other prisoners here on this death row have told me (privately) that they too have tried to waive their appeals, but their attorneys also have prevented them from doing so. I suspect there are many more such cases than anyone wants to admit. (What good is “capital punishment” if most of the people who get sentenced to death either want to die or simply don’t care if they do?)

   My appeal attorney thinks the court will rule to allow the appeal, if for no reason other than the fact that in 2010 I signed a formal statement that essentially reversed my position on resisting the attorney’s efforts to appeal on my behalf, even though I continue to disagree, with any appeal, on principle. My attorney says the appellate court should consider this signed affidavit as consent, if not a desire, for an appeal. But, the government (prosecutor) is claiming that since the “consent” was not received within the appeal time limit that it is not valid. My attorney says this argument is weak from a legal standpoint because the courts don’t want to stop a death sentence appeal on a mere technicality.

   So that’s where my case stands to date. The appeals court should rule on whether or not to allow the formal appeal sometime next year. If they rule that my waiver was valid, and the time to appeal has expired, then I could be executed within another year after that. But, unfortunately for me, that is not very likely. (I still consider my so-called “execution” to be a “release date” and look forward to it with sincere anticipation.) If they decide to allow the appeal then it could be another ten to twenty years before I get an execution date, assuming I eventually “lose” the appeal. And then there is the very small chance that the appellate court will rule against the district court by deciding that I was incompetent after all. In that case there would have to be a whole new trial, and the outcome would be heavily slanted by the incompetence ruling, so much so that the prosecutor could be inclined to offer a plea agreement for life without parole --- an agreement that I’d never sign, of course, but I doubt if that’d change anything.

   Just for the record here, my position in all of this hasn’t changed. I made a mistake by interfering with the attorney’s attempt to appeal against my wishes. I should have said nothing, but my pride got in the way. I didn’t want people to think that I agreed to an appeal. So, I wrote the judge and told him that the attorneys had filed the notice of appeal against my wishes. The judge then tried to stop the appeal, but the attorneys claimed it was no longer his jurisdiction; the appellate court now had to decide whether or not to all0ow the appeal. And thus the madness continues.

   My position has always been, and still remains, that I want nothing to do with the process of deciding what should be done in the name of the false god we call “Justice”. Since my arrest I have striven to provide only the open and honest truth to anyone interested in knowing the truth (which generally excludes all marketed media, such as commercial news agencies, and T.V. talk shows, etc…). But, I have never attempted to sway or suggest what should be done in response to my crimes (with some exceptions, such as when I wrote the judge and told him about the unwanted appeal). I believe with all my heart that I should be killed, but NOT judged. The process of judging a criminal is a distraction that prevents us from seeing the simple truth of the matter; WE raped and killed those children together, and WE must take responsibility for it together, not push it all onto one man, a human scapegoat/sacrifice in the name of our false gods (ideas) of justice.

   I could go on and on, but if the reader doesn’t already understand what I am saying (which is essentially no different than what men like me have been saying since the rise of civilization itself!) then it’s not likely that any words I use here will enlighten them. So my words are for posterity, and perhaps some comfort and reassurance for those who already understand.