Broken Toe Blues

The night before last I got woke up again by my neighbor, Marvin Gabrion, at two-thirty in the morning. He is an obnoxious old man of low intelligence who nobody likes. Do in order to punish everyone for not liking him he likes to moan and wail all night and most of the day. And if that's not enough to bother everyone he'll clap his hands loudly once in a while just to wake up as many people as he can to hear his "singing", which, of course, is exactly the kind of thinking and behavior that makes him so unpopular to start with.

Anyway, the night before last was the umpteenth time he kept me awake at night, so I got up and stupidly kicked my door, hard enough to break my big toe again (the last time I broke it was in junior high gym class while playing soccer). So now I not only have to put up with his ignorant shenanigans, but I must suffer in silence for my own.

There is no point reporting my broken toe on sick call since the best they can do is confirm it's broken with an x-ray then put a splint on it. And, since I don't have to walk around at all (being confined to my cell 24/7) there's really no need for an elaborate splint. I've just been keeping my shoes on, even while I sleep, which seems to provide plenty of support. Luckily I have aspirin to help get through the first 48 hours or so, which was the most painful. But now the pain has subsided and I just have to be careful not to put any weight on it.

As for Gabrion, the stupid old man who instigated my folly, even as I jot these words he is wailing away in the cell across the hall from me, oblivious to the guards banging on his door to give him his "meds" (anti-depressants for sure, but he needs anti-psychotics). I don't feel bad mentioning his name openly in this blog because I'm not saying anything that can get him in trouble. "Singing", as he calls it, isn't against the rules, which he knows well and frequently insist on his "right' to do it when guards or other prisoners complain. He himself is notoriously the biggest "rat" on the tier, frequently telling on other prisoners out loud and in front of everyone. Then he turns right around and accuses solid convicts of being "rats, fags, child molesters, and cowards", to name a few of his favorite insults.

Marvin Gabrion is one man who really challenges my belief that everyone has merit and deserves to live. The only merit I can find in him is that he really challenges and hence strengthens my ability to be patient, which my broken toe painfully attests.

Dental Work

I just got back from the small dental office in the SCU downstairs after having my teeth cleaned for the first time in over nine years (since before my arrest in 2005).

The hygienist who cleaned my teeth and examined them was very nice, and had kind friendly eyes. She was also very experienced and professional about her work. I was able to ask all the questions I had about taking care at my teeth in prison (e.g. how and when to request an appointment if I have a problem with my teeth - no easy task considering how intricate policies and strained resources determine if and when a given request is responded to - many of my requests have been ignored in the past due to a simple lack of correct wording it seems).

The exam and cleaning went well. She found only one problem area where an old filling appeared to be giving out and needs replacement. Other than that my teeth are in good shape. The filling I got two years ago, to fix what the jail dentist in Riverside, California said needed a root canal (so he wouldn't have to fix it with a filling) is holding up well (surprize, surprize). So now, with this cleaning, my teeth are in good shape, all 28 of them (sans the wisdom teeth), with a lot of fillings in the molars but no caps, root canals, or anything else wrong with them. Not bad, methinks, for a fifty year old man who's spent more than half his life imprisoned.

(Originally written by Joseph E. Duncan III on June 7, 2013)

P.S. A week after the above dental visit I got called out for another dental appointment to actually have my one ailing tooth repaired. The dentist fixed it quickly with a few taps of his drill and a dot of amalgam, without even numbing me up first (per my request - the shot to kill the pain would have been more painful, by far, then the entire procedure!). So, now my teeth are in tip top shape, oh happy me! (It's seems my teeth have caused me more worry and concern these last several years - because I could not get routine dental care - than all the death penalty cases against me, and I'm not even exaggerating!)

Remiss Misgivings

Yes, I have been remiss in updating this sub-blog (Chronicles). My intention was to post the day-to-day stuff here so anyone interested could get a feel for what it's like for me to be on death row in Federal prison. But most of what happens around here ends up being stuff I can't write publically about without risking getting someone in trouble, guards and prisoners. So many rules are broken everyday that I couldn't even report what it's like to get chow without exposing violations that any other prison (or jail) I have been in would consider "serious". I dare not even say what the violations are for fear of getting someone in trouble.

So, you'll just have to imagine what it's like for now. I'll post what I can, but it won't be much. But generally I am comfortable - nobody harasses me, not even the other prisoners. People for the most part speak to me respectfully; though I keep to myself and seldom speak to anyone. I rarely leave my cell, by choice. In fact I've only been out of my cell once since my dental appointment two months ago, and that was for a mandatory six-month administrative review (they took me to the counselor's office, ask me if I had any concerns or questions, I said no; then they took me back to my cell).

Life is better for me than even I think it should be, but I still look forward to my "release day" (a.k.a. "execution").

Spoiled Baloney For Lunch, Again

Today is Thursday, July 4th. Over this last weekend a guard was attacked in some other part of this prison (USP), or so the memo everyone here in the SCU (pronounced, "skew") received on Sunday informed me.

The nature and extent of the "attack" was left to our imaginations. But, our punishment was spelled out clearly. The entire prison would remain locked down for a week.

For the SCU prisoners, that means no "recreation" (outdoor cages surrounded by concrete walls), and sack lunches (baloney, cheese, or peanut butter sandwiches with a piece of fruit) for every meal. And since I personally never go to "recreation", my only punishment is the sack lunches for every meal. That in itself wouldn't be all that bad (I lived on sack lunches for two years in the Indio Jail in California, so I'm used to worse) except that the single slice of baloney they've given us each meal for the last two days was spoiled around the edges, and the bananas were too green to eat without getting sick.

Of course, I could save the bananas for a few days until they are edible, but the green baloney had to go in the toilet. And when the prisoners complained to the guards, and the guards complained to the kitchen, they were told, "the baloney isn't spoiled". They said that it was just, "exposed to the air".

Apparently nobody ever taught them what causes food to spoil (hint: exposure to air!).

So, we were all supposed to ignore the foul smell and ensuring stomach cramps and eat the food we all deserve for being bad inmates and "attacking" a guard.

Oh, wait. Officially, of course, we're not being punished at all. The lockdown is merely imposed to give staff time to "investigate the incident" and "evaluate policy". At least, that's what the memo said.

But, every prisoner and guard alike all understand that the lockdown is really just our punishment. Punishment is all the prison officials understand. It is their only means of control, or at least that's what they think. When inmates behave badly, take something away - it's the only logic they seem capable of.

Of course, historically, punishment has never been shown to curb negative behavior, except in the most superficial ways. The one thing that does solicit positive behavior is simply treating people as fellow human beings (commonly referred to as, "respectfully"). It's a truth that the system doesn't seem capable of comprehending. No surprize there.

Without Question

After a very expensive and prolonged "retrospective" competency hearing (one of the marshals told me that they estimated the court at around two-million dollars), the attorneys for both sides, government and defense, gave their closing arguments today. The government argues, in the interest of seeing me killed in the name of justice (truth be damned), that the defendant (me) has consistantly demonstrated his competence, and was in fact fully competent when he (the "defendant") waived his appeal of three death sentences, and has never demonstrated the overt incompetence that the defense lawyers assert. The "defense" argues, in the interest of saving my life (truth be damned), that Mr. Duncan (me) has a severe psychotic brain impairment that causes him to make all his decisions (legal and otherwise) in the erroneous context of a complex delusional belief system that is completely removed from reality. Hence, the decision to waive his appeals was made non-volitionally and incompetently. I would argue if given the chance, in the interest of the Truth (my life, or death, be damned), that the question of my so-called "competence" or even "sanity" should not be a part of the process of determining what society should do in response to my clearly criminal (i.e. socially destructive) behavior. The only question should be, "What happened?" If we ask ourselves that question honestly, instead of seeking blame, retribution, or even forgiveness, then we would know what to do, without question.

Back in Boise

I'm back in boise, Idaho, for yet another "competency hearing". It's expected to run until the end of January, maybe a little into February. Check the news in Boise for updates.

"Child Porn" Found In My Cell

Amongst the very few papers I brought with me from the Federal Detention Center in Seatac, Washington, as I was transferred via private jet to the Ada County Jail in Boise, was a document that discussed historical Jewish Law (the Talmud) in relationship to sex with children. I used this document to support an assertion I made in an affidavit to the court in which I pointed out that, like me, Jesus was a criminal of the most foul sort, as judged by the society in which he lived. I bolstered my argument to this effect by pointing out that in Jesus' day, sex with children, even child rape of both sexes, was not only legal, but ordained in some circumstances (such as the consumation of a marriage to girls as young as three by coitus, and an explicit exception to the law against laying with another man as a woman for boys under the age of nine, amongst other laws in the Talmud). I gave this affidavit, which directly cited the document I mention above, to my attorneys so they would know my current views in regard to the question of my competency, and how it related to my decision to waive the appeal of the three death sentences imposed upon me in Federal court back in 2008.

The other day I found this document missing from my jail cell, and realized it had been confiscated. So, I told my attorney, and he told me that he had been informed by the marshals that they had found and removed "child porn" from my cell. They did not tell him what the document was, just that it was "child porn".

So I submitted a written request to the jail to have the document returned, as it was a legitimate part of my case. The response I got was, "Sex with children is illegal in Idaho". So, I was not allowed to have the document.

since I had already written the affidavit, and the document itself is freely available on the Internet (Google: "Talmud Law Sex With Children") I was not too concerned about getting the document back. I was concerned, however, with the fact that once again a misleading record has been established of my attempts to keep "child porn" in my cell that can later be used in court as an "aggravating factor" (i.e. proof that I'm a "bad" person). And, it's not the first time either. In fact, this kind of slanted record keeping is pretty much par-for-course. I could give a dozen more explicit examples just off the top of my head, some I have already attempted to counter-document in this blog (e.g. the "assault on a guard" infraction I got in prison for accidentally hitting a guard with a small plastic lid, to mention just one).

It's just another way that the system promotes its view that there are "good people" and "bad people", a view that the system depends on to justify doing bad things (like crucifying the Truth and killing the innocent children of God).