155 Pounds

   When I lived in Fargo, North Dakota, from the time I was released from prison in Washington state in 2000, to the time I was on my my «rampage against society» in 2005. I weighed between 180 and 185 pounds. I weighed 185 pounds precisely, at the time of my arrest in Idaho, on July 2, 2005. Today I weight 155 pounds, according to the digital scale the medical staff let me use this morning.

   For some reason I've lost eight pounds just in the last three months alone (since the last time I weighed myself). I'm not too concerned yet, since my appetite seems okay, and when I was in prison in the early 1990s I only weighed about 135 pounds at the same height (six-one). I was a skeleton then, now I'm just really skinny.

   This weight loss might be a good thing. I don't get as much exercise as I did while I was living in Fargo, where I was very active (biking, skiing, running, scuba diving, swimming, and of course lots of vigorous sex, amongst other things), so dropping weight is actually probably a healthy thing to do (not as healthy as exercising, but much healthier than gaining weight). But, I haven't been making any conscious effort to loose wieght, other than simply choosing to go hungry rather than eat food I don't like.

   More and more lately it seems I have been going hungry because the food they give me here is frequently unappetizing to put it politely. I'm just happy that we still actually do get something I like often enough that I haven't lost even more weight. Though apparently I've been put off from eating more and more lately, and the only reason I can think of is that the food quality has been getting worse overall. I'm not much of a food person to being with; eating is often a chore for me, even when I can have anything I like. But, what I like is lots of fresh vegetables, fruit, and well cooked protein. Sugar and starch is okay, but never a first choice for me (I was never a Krispy Kreeme fan). In Fargo I enjoyed (and miss) snacking on raw broccoli, caulifower, and carrots with a salad dressing dip (usuallt blue cheese or ranch). My favorite entrees at home were hamburger helper (with extra meat and beans added the way I liked) or tuna sandwiches made with Miracle Whip and sweet pickles on sourdough bread.

   Here, though, I'm lucky to get any fresh vegetables at all, and the so-called fresh fruit that we get once or twice a day is obviously stuff that could never be sold in an American supermarket. The oranges have no flavor and the apples are mushy and bruised. The fruit's not like that all the time, but often enough so that when it's not like that I get very happy and feel «lucky» for that day.

   The entrees they serve are hit or miss, more miss than hit. I don't like peppers (or anythng with capsaicin in it) or «spicy» food in general, and honestly don't understand how anyone can (it literally makes me sick). So when the cooks here get it in their mind to play chef (something you're not supposed to do as an institutional cook when you are cooking for a large group and not individual tastes) and starts spicing up the food (usually with lots of pepper and/or peppers) I get extremely frustrated. I can't tell you the number of times I'll be eagerly waiting for the fod trays to arrive only to discover that the otherwise perfectly good beans have been ruined with pepper. They sell pepper here on commissary, so if a prisoner likes destroying their tastebuds that way they can do so all they want. I myself can't eat it, and usually end up going hungry again, unless I have saved some rice or something from another meal which I do when I can.

   So, I blame the food here for my wieght loss; or, I should say, I CREDIT the food here for it, since it's not really a bad thing. If you think I'm complaining then you haven't read this correctly at all. I'm simply trying to relay my experience, as always, for whatever it might be worth.